You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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