seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
