What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
