sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
