next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
