i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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