just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
