Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
