Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she smelled like a LAN party
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
