im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
