i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
