Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
