Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
