Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
