Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
