Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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