I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
