i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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