I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
