how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
