i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think your dad took our porno
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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