It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
