i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
