remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
