Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
