got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
this hospital has no fireball
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
