WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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