I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
