the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
