I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Less talking, more tequila
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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