My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize