My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
