so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
