Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
