I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Vodka?
Forever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
