Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
