All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize