This girl is more easily done than said...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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