dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
