Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
