Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize