That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
