I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
