I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
