his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
