so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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