fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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