shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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