walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
