I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
