I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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