He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
