The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
