So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
