matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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