i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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