Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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