Michael Bay diarrhea
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
