I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
