i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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