I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
