if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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