so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
