She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ok first of all what the fuck
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
