You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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