omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
