drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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