Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
